Friday August 13, 2004

Paul chose this years theme to be ?Vikings?.  Six of us met at high noon at Clark?s Marina near Gananoque for our second annual rental at Houseboat Holidays.  Malcolm Podhi, Paul Nixon, Sue Collins, Wendy Workman, Don Murphy and myself (David Workman) loaded up our Red model houseboat.  Once we had it all organized we were offered an upgrade to the Blue model.  The people who had rented it wanted our boat, as they liked the design better.  We jumped at the chance as we found the blue boat much better.  They paid the difference and we got a more open concept plus an extra captains wheel on the roof.  Once again, we were instructed in great detail.

?This lever makes you go forward and this lever makes you go backward?. 

I took the helm and led us up the creek without a paddle.  No one else seemed interested in driving so Don and I traded off all weekend.  Sue talked me into playing a hundred or so games of 21 until I couldn?t take it anymore.  I assigned her and Wendy the task of making us all bead necklaces.  The mindless work seemed to keep them happy.  Don, Malcolm and Paul each had their own brand of beer.  That mindless work seemed to keep them happy as well.

Immediately after I gave up the wheel, our engine began to surge.  It wasn?t life threatening, just annoying.  We decided to put up with it until tomorrow.  Don took us on a tour of the St. Lawrence then we stopped in at Lyndock Island to check our reservations at Camp Browning.  My uncle, Bill Browning, reluctantly assured us that he had space for us.  He was heading out for supper but said he would leave his basement door open.  We could then access his tower room through the trap door.

We motored away for our annual supper at Peck?s Restaurant.  Don made a fine landing and we bothered the restaurant staff all night requesting ludicrous demands such as a free bottle of wine and making them bring out a cake and sing for Wendy?s birthday (she did have a birthday ? we just neglected to mention that it was back in May).

I steered us back to my uncle?s where I carefully crashed the boat into his dock nearly losing Paul off the bow.  Apparently I still have it.

Wendy, after a few brown cows on the dock, decided to go up to the tower room and enticed me into following her up the basement stairs.  She tried unsuccessfully to push the trap door up. 

?Push harder?, I encouraged.

?Here, you try it, then, Mr. Time Engineer? she said sarcastically.

I pushed her aside and gave it a mighty heave.  Uncle Bill had neglected to tell us that he had placed his well-stocked liquor bar over top of the trap door.  The bar and contents toppled over just as Josh (his hired hand) entered the room.  It must have been quite a shock.  I should have known better than to listen to Wendy.  We spent the next hour cleaning up broken glass.  Twice we had to throw Paul & Sue out of the room as they were trying to lap up the spilled liquor off the floor.  Wendy is very fussy and even insisted on throwing out a new package of straws fearing that each straw would contain glass shards.  That was foolish.  The odds of every straw containing glass shards was probably only 1 in 4.

Malcolm sauntered off to bed around 8:00.

Sue said, ?Do we have milk for breakfast??

Wendy babbled a reply, ?Yep?Milk?em brought malc?.

Strangely enough, we all understood it.  Later we settled in for a movie and watched ?Rob Roy? from the Browning video collection.   It was about some guy in a plaid skirt.  Around 1:00 am we all headed up to the farmhouse to sleep.  No sense sleeping in a rocking houseboat when there are nice landlocked beds to be had.

Malcolm opened one eye long enough to say ,?Goodnight everyone?.

?Goodnight Milk?em?, we all yelled in unison.

Saturday August 14, 2004

We all pooled our grocery items and made ourselves, Josh and Bill a superb breakfast.  Then, with full stomachs we prepared our yacht for its voyage.  

WAITRESS SUE BEGINS HER ROUNDS	CHEF NIXON PREPARING OUR FEAST	THE RAIDING PARTY CHARTS THEIR COURSE

At the last minute, Malcolm jumped ship saying he preferred to lounge on the dock.  Don surged us under the International Bridge.  Earlier we had called Houseboat Holidays regarding our faulty motor.  Their repairman intercepted us and changed the spark plugs.  It then ran perfectly right up until he left, then of course, it reverted to its regular surge.  We gave up and headed to Boldt Castle where Don put my last years docking to shame.  We checked in with the U.S. customs then we costumed up in our Viking suits and I drove us to Alexandria Bay.  It was pure bedlam.  By sheer coincidence, this was not only the Poker Run weekend but the Pirate Weekend as well.  The water was jam packed with boats.  They were zipping all around us spraying us with water canons and water balloons.  Houseboats are not known for their maneuverability.  This one was no exception.  

NASTY NORA & THOR LOSER	HELGA AND HAGAR GEAR UP IN THEIR BEST PELTS FOR A NIGHT OF PILLAGING	VIKINGS UNDER GLASS

There were absolutely no dock spaces at Alexandria Bay so instead we just cruised back and forth, in and out of the harbour yelling our cheer, ?Vikings Rule?.  Over the course of a few hours and drinks it was changed to, ?Vikings Drool?.  The pirates seemed puzzled that we were dressed as Vikings.  Don took over the helm and at one waterfront hotel, several pirates tried to bombard us with water balloons from a slingshot apparatus.  Actually, I don?t believe they were interested in us at all until Sue yelled at them, ?Pirates are losers.? We sailed by 5 times to give them a chance to hit us.  Even with our taunting them they still missed.    

At one point a boat load of people stood up in their craft, stared at our costumes and clapped for us as if we were an on-stage act about to start.  Not wanting to disappoint them, Paul yelled into his imaginary microphone, ?Thank you?thank you very much.  You?ve been a great crowd.  We hope you?re all having a good time. Anyone here from Finland??  

RETURNING FROM A SUCCESSFUL RAID	THE BLUE (LA)GOON	VIKINGS MUST CHECK IN AT CANADA CUSTOMS

ANOTHER BAD HAIR DAY	I CREATED A DIVERSION WHILE THE REST OF THE VIKINGS LOOTED THE WEDDING GIFTS & STOLE CAKE	MY CUP RUNNETH OVER

Don made a fine landing at the Rockport Canada Customs.  The officer tried to retain his professional scowl but all his training hadn?t prepared him for our costumes.  Eventually he couldn?t take it anymore and I actually saw a faint smirk cross his lips.  Wendy and Sue wanted to check out the gift shop.  The customs agent wouldn?t let us remain at his dock so Don had to re-moor next door.  It didn?t go well as it was quite windy.  We managed to annoy some guy who was trying to tow a boat that sunk at the pier we were tied up at.  We told him we would be gone within a minute but he couldn?t wait and tried to tow his boat around our barge.  Several harsh words were exchanged between him, Don and myself.  Don was so angry it almost seemed as if he had grown horns?but perhaps that was because he still had his Viking costume on.  

We returned to Camp Browning in full costume much to the amusement of Harold and Michelle who had come over for a visit.  Spent a few hours swimming and jumping off the houseboat then we all pitched in again and made a great supper of hamburgers and pies etc.  Paul and Sue stayed in the houseboat.  The rest of us decided the extra rocking would be too much so we retired to the farmhouse.    

SUE GOES FOR A DIP	VIKING MERMAID	THE HORNED CRUSADER

HAROLD TAKES THE NESTEA PLUNGE	HAROLD & PAUL PREPARE TO DIVE	STILL THINKING...

REAL VIKINGS NEVER REMOVE THEIR HATS	SYNCHRONIZED DIVING AT ITS WORST	PAUL EXAMINES THE RARE HORNED HAROLD

Sunday August 15, 2004

Another large and great breakfast.  Greg and Marilou Rebec and their two kids, Brian & Sarah called from Williams Marina.  I braved the seas and drove us there and back.  My crew reluctantly resewed my Captain?s badge back on my shirt after two pretty fair dockings.  We spent the day relaxing on the dock, diving off the roof of the houseboat and having water fights.  After supper we motored over to Williams Marina.  Despite the screams of ?reverse, reverse!!!? which were usually reserved for me, Don managed to ram us into the dock.  The Rebec?s bade us a shaky yet fond farewell and we gassed up our boat.  We all piled on the roof and I drove us back to the entrance to Clark?s Marina.  Don took over in a last ditch effort to reclaim his status as a good docker.  He did an excellent job.  As a matter of fact, Don yelled ?Ah, ha!? and then ripped the remaining docking badge off my jacket.  We arrived at 8:30 just at dusk.  Perfect.

WENDY'S BACK!!	MILLHOUSE	ANOTHER BODY FLOATS BY

BRIAN	FUTURE VIKINGS, SARAH & BRIAN	THE VIKING CONQUEROR

PAUL POINTS OUT THE GROUP HE'S STUCK WITH	PLEASE, CAN I HAVE MORE?	BILL RECEIVES FINANCIAL ADVICE FROM MALCOLM

I left a 5 gallon container of gas in the trunk of my car which we used to top up the houseboat on our return.  Don also brought oil, which we used for the same purpose.  Both gas and oil were cheaper than at the marinas.  At the time, gas was $0.85 a litre at the station and $1.00 at the marinas.  Had we not topped up the liquids, it would have come off the $300.00 deposit that was mailed back to me.  As it was, it worked out perfectly as my full deposit was returned to me within a few days. The houseboat rental was $130.00 each which included insurance.  The gas and oil totalled $23.10 each for a total of $153.10 each.  Originally we had 12 crew members but half cancelled.  Had that not happened, our cost would have been halved.  Well, perhaps next year we?ll have a larger crew.  We?re toying with the theme of commandos (to make it more exciting at customs).  What do you say?are you interested?